Aging Unfiltered: Real. Raw. Law.

Aging Unfiltered: Episode 1

Edna: Hi, I’m Edna Colucci.

Ashli: And I’m Ashli Carroll.

Edna: We’re both elder law attorneys, and every day we’re sitting across the table from families dealing with aging, caregiving, long-term care decisions, dementia, Alzheimer’s and really all of the things that people don’t necessarily want to talk about until they absolutely have to.

Ashli: Exactly.

Disclaimer

Edna/Ashli: Before we start, Aging Unfiltered is presented by Hook Law for general informational and educational purposes only. Nothing in this podcast is legal, tax or financial advice, and listening does not create an attorney-client relationship with Hook Law or any of its attorneys. Every situation is different. Before acting on anything you hear, please consult with a qualified professional.

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Ashli: It’s definitely unfiltered.

Edna: Exactly. Real families and real situations.

Ashli: Let’s talk a little bit about who we are, how we got here and why we started doing this work.

Edna: My background is a little different. I’m from a very small town in south Alabama, and growing up I was always around my grandparents and my great-grandparents. They were my people.

I spent a lot of time with them, their friends and the older people in our community. I think I developed an old soul that way.

Everything that happened in our community involved everybody. I was fortunate enough to have my grandparents and even my great-grandparents in my life for a long time. I spent summers with family and was just constantly surrounded by older people.

I think being around them helped develop the mindset I have toward aging.

Then there were experiences within my own family—the way my grandparents aged, the way some of their long-term-care needs played out and the things that could have been different if certain planning had happened earlier.

Knowing what I know now, there are things that could have helped them tremendously and made situations less stressful for them and for the family.

I carried that with me, and that’s one of the reasons I eventually went into elder law.

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Ashli: I always wanted to be an attorney. Ever since I was little, I remember going to the library and looking at these giant old law books and pretending I knew what I was doing.

I knew I wanted to practice law because I wanted to help people.

Originally, I thought I wanted to be a criminal trial attorney. I did some of that and realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be.

Eventually I found estate planning, and I loved the mental gymnastics of it—trying to understand what works for a particular person or family.

Then elder law came into the picture, and I saw how much this work affects not just the client we’re representing, but the whole family.

Sometimes it is incredibly rewarding. Sometimes a client tells you something that absolutely breaks your heart. But there are also a lot of happy moments and a lot of hugs.

It became easier than I expected to know this was where I belonged.

I genuinely care about our older population. In the spirit of my own grandparents, I want people to age well, and I want to help the families who are caring for them.

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Edna: I can completely relate to that.

I’ve been practicing for a long time now, and I didn’t start my career knowing this was exactly where I’d end up either.

One of the things I love about this area of law is feeling like you can make a difference and having people walk away from a meeting feeling better than when they came in.

You hear people’s stories. Someone comes in and says, “Tell me what I need. What do I do?”

You begin talking with them and learning about their family, their goals and what they’ve worked for.

That really resonated with me.

Estate planning is about helping protect what people have worked so hard to build. You want to help them protect it, decide what happens to it and know that they’ve left things in order.

There’s a legacy component to that.

As far as choosing law, I didn’t grow up knowing with absolute certainty that I’d be a lawyer. I bounced around between different ideas about what I wanted to do.

As I got older, I realized that people were asking questions and that I wanted to be in a position where I could help answer them and figure things out.

I love writing. I love meeting with clients. I love people and their personal stories, and I love helping people.

That’s a lot of what we do day in and day out.

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Ashli: And no two situations are the same.

People walk through the door carrying very different things. If we can help find some resolution for them, that’s fulfilling.

Edna: Absolutely.

I think that’s one of the things that resonates with both of us. People often come to us at a point in their lives when they aren’t sure what to do next.

Maybe aging is becoming an issue. Maybe there’s been a diagnosis. Maybe they’re simply trying to figure out what the next steps should be.

We see those conversations every day, and we see so many different family dynamics.

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Ashli: That’s part of why, when we started talking about this podcast, we knew we didn’t want it to be nothing but lawyers talking about the law.

We want people to hear stories they can relate to.

Edna: Exactly. We want real stories.

Ashli: Real. Raw. Law.

We want it to be unfiltered.

We want to get those stories out there because they can provide encouragement and awareness.

There can be so much isolation surrounding aging.

That can be true for the person living with a diagnosis such as dementia, but it can also be true for caregivers.

We hear caregivers talk about feeling guilty or wondering whether they’re doing everything they possibly can.

Then there is caregiver burnout.

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Edna: And that’s why having a support system matters.

Your legal team can be part of that support system, because we’re not simply here to prepare documents.

We’re here to look at what is happening with the whole family and the family dynamic.

There are situations that law books simply don’t describe.

How do I take the car keys away from Mom or Dad?

What’s the best way to have that conversation?

Those aren’t questions where you can just open a statute and find the answer.

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Ashli: That’s also where other professionals come into the picture.

We have an extensive network of resources, and if there is someone who can better help with a particular need, we want to be able to connect a family with that person.

That’s important.

We want this podcast to work the same way.

We can share stories, introduce people to resources and help listeners understand the kinds of questions they may need to start asking.

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Edna: Traditional seminars have always been part of educating people, but the way people look for information is changing.

People are searching online. They’re trying to figure things out on their own. Sometimes the thought is simply, “Oh my gosh, I need documents.”

We thought this could be a better way to create one central place where we can talk about all kinds of issues and get useful information out to the public quickly.

We want to be a resource for the community and help connect people with resources we’re learning about and using with our own clients.

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Ashli: And I think the way we’re structuring the show will help with that.

We’re going to have people come on and share their personal stories and personal experiences.

Hopefully somebody listening hears a story and thinks, “That’s me,” or, “That’s what my family is going through.”

Maybe they’ll understand where to go next or what questions they should be asking.

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Edna: Because there are so many different paths into this.

No person is the same, and no story is the same.

We see so many different versions of these situations, but underneath all of them are people.

That’s who we’re trying to help.

I’m really excited about the guests we have coming up.

Ashli: Me too.

Edna: We have people with amazing stories who have done extraordinary things, and we’re excited to bring them on and let people hear from them.

These are people whose stories have stood out to us in one way or another, and we feel like the information needs to get out there.

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Ashli: And this really applies across generations.

When we talk about planning, we’re not only talking about somebody who’s 75 or 80.

An 18-year-old who has just graduated may need legal documents.

Edna: Exactly.

I’m in that stage with my own kids where we’re having those conversations and getting documents signed.

Once your child becomes a legal adult, the relationship changes in ways parents don’t always realize.

That’s why these conversations shouldn’t start only when somebody is older.

You can start talking about planning when people are young.

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Ashli: Another piece that’s really important to me is preparing documents and strategies that help protect wealth and family legacy.

That goes hand in hand with elder law.

Maybe we’re working with grandparents who have worked hard their entire lives. We want to think about what happens to what they’ve built and how it may eventually benefit children or grandchildren.

They’ve spent their lives building something.

We want to help make sure they have decision-makers in place and that things are organized.

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Edna: We always say we plan for the worst and hope for the best.

You never know what life is going to bring.

I’m doing the same thing with my own family and making sure the appropriate documents are in order.

Hopefully they’re never needed.

But we want them there because we never know what might happen.

That’s what we’re helping people prepare for.

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Ashli: We see difficult situations all the time.

Nobody wants to think about them.

But having those conversations ahead of time can prepare you and create a little less uncertainty if you ever find yourself in that situation.

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Edna: There is also an entire next generation dealing with aging parents.

That’s a population that can be underserved when it comes to support.

We want to tell stories that highlight the realities of that season of life but also talk about strategies people are using.

A listener may hear something they had never thought about and realize that option could help their family.

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Ashli: That’s really the purpose of the podcast.

Provide answers.

Provide possible solutions.

Provide hope.

Tell stories.

And yes, we’re going to talk about legal documents, because one thing we want people to understand is that it is never too early to plan, and it’s never too late to plan.

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Edna: We want our clients to have the appropriate documents in place, but even if somebody listening already has another attorney, we still want this information to help.

When you go see an attorney, think about what you need.

Be prepared to have conversations.

Ask questions.

And make sure you’re a good fit for each other.

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Ashli: That fit matters.

You work with someone on incredibly personal things.

Speaking for myself, and I think for our team as a whole, we all have personal reasons behind why we’re here and why we do this work.

I think that comes through with our clients.

Edna: Absolutely.

There is something very special about the relationships we have with our clients.

Sometimes they leave a meeting and you realize you’ve helped somebody feel like things are going to be okay.

You’ve done your job.

That’s an incredible feeling.

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Ashli: It really is incredible to be in a position to help people that much.

When I was going through law school, I remember thinking, “This is really hard. Why am I putting myself through these three years?”

But I knew I wanted that credential because it would allow me to do the work I wanted to do and open a door to helping people.

Now, being invited into people’s lives at incredibly important moments is special.

I also went through that process while raising my kids. I have a 21-year-old and a 16-year-old, and they’ve grown up alongside this career.

I’m thankful for the professors and people who helped me through that process and for having my kids alongside me through it.

They’ve watched me grow into this role.

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Edna: And that’s what listeners are going to hear more of.

Real people with real stories.

Grandparents. Grandchildren. Adult children. People living with diagnoses. Caregivers. Professionals. People who planned beautifully, and people who maybe wish they’d done things differently.

Ashli: Everything.

That’s Aging Unfiltered.

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Closing Disclaimer

Edna/Ashli: Everything discussed on Aging Unfiltered is intended for general information, education and conversation. It is not legal, financial, tax or other professional advice.

Every person’s circumstances are different. Listening to this podcast does not create an attorney-client or professional relationship with Hook Law, our guests or anyone else appearing on the program.

When guests join us, they are sharing their own experiences and perspectives and are speaking for themselves.

If something discussed here resonates with you or raises questions for you or your family, we encourage you to speak with the appropriate qualified professional.

Thank you for joining us today on Aging Unfiltered.

Until next time.